


Aurora Borealis

by britishshoe



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: M/M, milex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:23:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 8,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4146279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishshoe/pseuds/britishshoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yeah, another milex story.</p><p>disclaimer: i don't own anyone in this story, these events didn't really happen, etc.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i'm bringing over my old work from wattpad so. enjoy (and yeah you can tell i rushed the last half and the ending but whatever)  
> EDIT: because i had just brought this fic over and had not invested any particular time in setting it up on this site, i had not used archive warnings. i wrote this fic 2 years ago and it was the first thing i put on this account without having a full handle on the system. cut me some slack. i changed it.

Alex was soon to be going off tour and he knew that after the mandatory week with his mum, he was going to have the time of his life with Miles. He got himself a drink and looked around the cramped tour bus knowing that tonight was their last concert for a whole month. The rest of the band and crew were already backstage at the amphitheater celebrating, but Alex couldn't go quite yet. He sat down and tapped his foot lightly on the floor and took periodic sips of his drink trying to keep himself entertained. He had his phone but he hated using it, perhaps because he hadn't taken the time to learn. Sure, he could shoot a text or make a phonecall but he couldn't be bothered to figure it out. He was old fashioned, and while many people found it irritating, he thought it added to his cool factor. He decided to lie back and relax, but only managed to stay awake for a brief ten minutes.

Miles found himself outside of the tour bus smiling at the weeks to come. He swung open the door and shouted "surprise!" only to hear a loud thud and see the sight of a scared Alex flying off of the couch and smacking the floor.

"Are you alright?!" Miles shrieked, running over and putting Al's head in his hands.

"I've been better," Alex said weerily before grinning up at him. Miles chuckled and bent down, kissing him on the forehead, before helping him up.

"Tonight's the last show, Mi!" Al yelled before running to the back of the bus.

"I know!" Miles cheered following him slowly peeking around before he saw him standing in the bathroom peeling off the shirt that he had spilled half of his drink on.

"Sorry about that," Miles said grinning at the floor. Looking at Alex still made his nerves explode even after nearly a year of being together. Al walked over and lifted his chin giving him a light peck on the lips.

"Don't worry about it. Now you can pick out what I wear tonight," Alex said pointing towards his suitcase full of clothes.

"I don't think you wan't me doing that, love. Unless you want to be performing in your birthday suit," Miles quipped, grinning like an idiot. Alex smiled back at him and lightly smacked his arm. He went to walk by and Miles reciprocated smacking his ass.

"Watch it!" Al said giggling.

"Sure I will," Miles said doing exactly that as Al bent down and picked up a red short sleeved button up. He put it on and buttoned maybe three buttons before giving up and letting the shirt hang open. Miles took in a sharp breath, looking him up and down.

"Like what you see?" Al said shimmying and breaking Miles' focus.

"You look like someone's grandad," Miles snorted at Al's slip on shoes with no socks and dress pants, not to mention the gold chain that topped off the outfit.

"Aye, you're one to talk! Look at you now!" Alex responded a little offended at the accusations being pointed at him. Miles furrowed his brows before looking down at his own outfit: a hawaiian shirt with white skinny jeans and loafers.

"I guess I kind of set myself up for that one," he smiled at himself and then at Al who's agitated expression eased into a smile. "But at least no matter what I wear, you still did the 'Cornerstone' video," Miles continued hollering with laughter. Alex shot him a dirty look but got no response because Miles' eyesight was blurry with tears as he laughed and held onto his sides for dear life. When he had calmed down Al was still looking at him with an unamused expression.

"When will you let me live that down?" Al asked with an annoyed edge to his voice.

"The day you die," Miles said before kissing him and walking to the front of the bus. He pulled a beer from the refrigerator and sat down, unlocking his phone to check some notifications. Before long Al walked out.

"How do I look?" he asked striking a pose. Miles snapped a quick picture and put it on Instagram before looking him in the eyes.

"Great as ever, my little Elvis impersonator," he said making kissy noises.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Kane." Al said averting his eyes to the nearest mirror and nodding at his own reflection. "It's time to go," he said smiling down at Miles.

"Alright, dear," Miles said in his best husbandly tone standing up and sauntering ahead of Al to the bus doors. Alex wolf whistled at him before saying goodbye to the driver who hastily opened and shut the doors for them. He was one of the many people that was ready to leave this tour.

"Are you ready for our little vacation?" Alex asked Miles linking their arms.

"I can honestly say I've never been camping but I can't wait to fuck you in a tent," Miles responded keeping his gaze straight ahead.

"Jesus Christ, Mi. I'm glad you're already excited," Al said laughing.

"How could I not be? Fresh air, campfire, and of course fucking you in a tent," Miles said smiling trying to hold in his laughter. Alex took another route and laughed until he was having trouble breathing.

"You're gonna make me pop a blood vessel, Miles! Relax!" Al choked out regaining his composure.

"But really, Al, I'm sure it'll be great. Away from all the hysteria and whatnot," Miles said smiling down at his boyfriend. Alex smiled right back at him and they made their way through the back entrance and joined the party.


	2. Chapter 2

 Alex looked great up there, he really did.  His hair hung over his eyes and he was glistening with sweat, a beautiful mess.  Miles watched from side stage and found himself smiling for the entire set.  He was enjoying the concert, but was significantly more excited for the vacation. At the end, Al stepped up to the mic and looked over at Miles.

"This one goes out to the one and only, Miles Kane.  My very own superstar," he said smiling.  Miles felt himself blush and smiled back before looking down to his feet and shaking his head.  The crowd cheered and Alex plucked the chords to "I Wanna Be Yours" with a dopey grin on his face.  He sang and his voice ran through Miles' ears like water and the words ricocheted through his brain leaving him light-headed.  Miles' eyes welled up and made him realize how happy he truly was, in this moment, and every moment that he spent with this man.  He watched as Al strummed the guitar solo like it was the last solo he had left.  When it was over, the crowd was going absolutely mad and the band said their goodbyes and took their leave.

"I hope you liked the show," Al said wrapping his arms around Miles' neck.  Miles rested his hands on Alex's hips and kissed him before leaning up and looking him in the eyes.

"Loved it," he responded smiling.  They stood there looking at each other for a long moment before their focus was broken.

"I know you guys are busy doing that whole fairytale thing but can you get moving?" Jamie said, ushering them towards the back exit. Miles rolled his eyes and draped his arm around Al's shoulder, following Jamie's lead.

"He's just jealous because I play lead guitar AND I have a hot boyfriend," Alex mumbled in Miles' ear making him chuckle.  They made their way to the bus and Al stepped on to collect his items.  Miles stayed outside and smoked a cigarette, blowing smoke up at the stars and letting the night air clear his mind.  Before he could butt the cigarette out, Alex was standing next to him with a bag in each hand and a smile on his face.  

"Let me take those," Miles said quickly sweeping them away and walking towards the car that would be taking them to the airport.

"Why don't you ever let me carry my bags, Mi?" Alex pondered speeding up to match his boyfriend's stride.

"I can see the headlines now. 'Frail Musician Throws Out His Back While Boyfriend Stands By Offering No Support'," Miles mused laughing at his own joke.

"Should I start working out so you'll stop taking the piss out of me?" Alex said with a huff.

"No, of course not," Miles said turning on his heels, " You're perfect just the way you are." Alex blushed and smiled at him before walking ahead to open the trunk and put his bags in with Miles'.  They piled in the car and sat in silence for the short ride to the airport.  They didn't speak again until they had boarded the airplane and were sat next to each other relaxing.  

"I can't wait to get some rest," Al sighed looking out the window and preparing himself for takeoff.  He was nervous on planes and Miles knew that, so he took it upon himself to hold Alex's hand and allow him to squeeze it to ease his nerves.  

"Thanks, " Alex said breaking his gaze from the window to look at Miles.  They allowed the conversation to lull and only said something when they felt it necessary. It went on something like this for an hour or so, until Miles found himself talking to no one, as Alex had fallen asleep.  He kissed him on the head and let himself relax and drift off.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex woke up before Miles and felt his nerves flood back to him. He waited for a flight attendant patiently and then stopped her right as she was passing by.

"Hey, yeah, uh, how close are we to Sheffield?" he asked her, fidgeting and talking quietly trying not to wake Miles.

"You're just in luck, we're about to make the landing announcement," she responded giving him a friendly smile and heading down the aisle. Like clocwork, the announcement was made and it woke Miles, who buckled his seatbelt and prepared for landing. 

"Morning, love," Alex said to him in a shaky murmur.

"Mornin. Looks like we've made it," Miles said with a yawn and drowsily grinned. Al felt his heart melt and all of his nerves scatter as he laced his fingers with Miles' smiling up at him.

"I'm gonna miss you," Al said looking to his feet for courage. Miles kissed the top of his head and squeezed his hand.

"I'll be in Liverpool for one week. You'll catch up with your family and I'll be there before you know it," Miles reassured him with a faint smile. Alex nodded and leaned back as the plane came to a halt. They filed out to claim their baggage and embraced each other quickly before heading their separate ways.

[four days later]

Alex loved his family, he really did, but everyone was so dull compared to Miles. He missed him more than anything and just wanted to get the week over with. He decided to make an instagram account, but just under the guise of being a random empty account to check Miles' updates. There was a part of him that knew it was a bit much, and another part of him that knew he had to see what was going on. He looked at the picture that Miles had taken of him last week and shook his head. The only post after that was from that morning, and it was a picture of Miles in a red turtleneck. "Three days!" was the caption and Alex knew Miles was making fun of him a bit but found himself smiling that Miles missed him as much as he missed Miles. He locked his phone and went to spend some time with his family.

The next day, Miles woke up and found himself checking the days off of his mental calendar. Two days until Alex was with him again. He opened his phone to one text.

Alex: "2"

He smiled and thought about what he should say. He decided on nothing at all, and just sent Al a picture of himself blowing a kiss. After it was delivered, he sat his phone down and went to get dressed. When he came back, Alex had responded with a kissy face emoji and a nude. Miles sharply inhaled and sat down, looking at the picture.

"Two," he said letting his gaze linger on the screen and fell back onto the bed with a huff.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Those two days passed and Miles found himself on his way to Sheffield with a smile on his face. He was on Alex's street before he knew it. He marched up the steps and rang the doorbell. Al's mom greeted him with a warm smile and hugged him before inviting him in. Miles made his way up the stairs quietly and stopped in Alex's door frame only to see him looking in the mirror and combing his hair. 

"You can comb your hair all day, but I'll still be cuter than you," Miles said taking a step into the room. Alex turned sharply and a grin spread across his face.

"Mi!" he yelled taking a leap and landing against Miles with a soft thud. Alex wrapped his arms tightly around Miles' neck and kissed him. Miles rested his hands on Alex's hips and pulled him closer, deepening their kiss. He moved his right hand up to gently tug at Alex's hair while moving his left hand down into Alex's back jean pocket. Miles pulled back and moved his mouth down to suck on Al's neck.

"M-Miles," Alex whimpered growing hard against Miles' leg, "not in me mum's house." He pulled back and went back to the mirror to fix his hair again. Miles sighed and leaned against the wall. He patiently waited whilst Al primped and when he was done, Miles carried his bags down to the car he had rented. He walked back in the house only to say goodbye to Alex's mom. They then made their way down the steps to the car to start their journey. 

"Miles," Alex said timidly.

"Hmm?" Miles responded, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Did you get the picture I sent the other day?"

Miles grinned and placed his left hand on Alex's knee, rubbing lightly.

"Sure did," he answered, quickly glancing at Al. After all this time, Alex was still so unsure of himself. He hesitated but then he moved Mile's hand, putting it back on the wheel. He turned his body slightly, looking at Miles intently.

"And?" he asked not sure what else to say.

"And it made me even more excited for this trip," Miles said smirking without averting his eyes, but still making Al's face burn. In an instant Alex found himself scooting closer to the center console and rubbing the inside of Miles' left thigh. He leaned over and began kissing his neck. Miles let out a low growl trying to stay in control of both his body and his driving. 

"Alex," Miles said firmly, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

"Hmm?" Alex mumbled into his neck, fidgeting with the button on Miles' jeans. 

"Stop," he said meekly, cursing himself for letting Alex get to him so easily. He was supposed to be the dominant one. Alex removed his lips from Miles' neck, sending him a wave of relief that was soon cut short. Al leaned all the way over and before Miles knew it, he was in Alex's mouth as he bobbed his head up and down rhythmically. Miles groaned and he felt his senses blur. He pulled off of the road and turned off the car as Alex blew him, teasing the head of his dick and deep throating him. Miles bucked his hips and Al gagged, sending a heat coursing through his body. Before long, he came in Alex's mouth with a soft groan. Alex sat up and he put himself back together before turning the car back on and speeding off. 

They were in the countryside within five minutes and Miles drove onto some property that he was borrowing for this trip. Alex got out of the car and got the tent out of the trunk. He was setting it up while Miles searched through his bag and found what he was looking for just as Alex called out to him.

"Okay, Mi, I put up the tent. Now wha-" He was cut short by Miles who put a piece of duct tape over his mouth. He was clearly confused and Miles quickly answered his looming questions. 

"Get in the tent, Alex," he said firmly unzipping the opening for Alex to clamber in. "Take off your clothes," Miles followed up. Alex did as he was told and found himself kneeling naked in the middle of the tent as Miles stood in front of him.

"Touch yourself," he ordered with a sharp edge to his voice. Alex slowy began stroking himself as Miles watched him, still fully clothed and with fire in his eyes. Alex was softly moaning behind the tape and Miles stopped him. Alex crawled closer to Miles and Miles knelt, allowing Alex to remove his clothes. 

"I want you down on all fours," Miles cooed and watched Al follow orders. He retrieved the bottle that he had pulled out of his bag and applied some lube to his fingers before sliding them into Al who whimpered. He pumped his fingers in and out slowly listening to Alex's muffled moans. He lubed himself up and replaced his fingers with his dick causing Al to yelp as he slowly slid in and out of his boyfriend. Alex moaned and Miles started to speed up, thrusting harder. The first time he hit Alex's prostate he let out a muffled shout and a sigh. Miles pulled back and gave another hard thrust, and increased his speed. Alex let out moan after moan behind the tape and Miles could feel sweat forming on his brow. He felt himself getting closer so he stroked Alex while he thrusted, and when Alex climaxed, Miles came inside and pulled out, flopping to the tent floor with a hollow thud. Alex used his nearby shirt to clean up his mess and then followed suit, lying next to him.

"If you liked that, you'll love this!" Miles huffed, sprinting out of the tent naked and returning with his guitar. He sat down and began to strum a familiar tone. Alex soaked up every word while Miles sang.

"I missed your skin when you were east," he chirped and Alex smiled warmly, closing his eyes to the sound. "That fragile capricorn..." Miles drug out and Alex chuckled softly. When he was done, Al sat up and leaned in to kiss him. 

"I love you, Mi," he said matter-of-factly as he looked into his boyfriend's eyes.

"I love you, too, Al," Miles said smiling. He let out a soft laugh and continued "let's go to sleep, we can save roasting marshmallows for tomorrow night.


	4. Chapter 4

Miles woke up and Alex was nowhere to be found. He decided to go for a walk and check out the scenery, and if he found Al, that would just be a bonus. It had only been about five minutes before he saw him sprinting through the woods in his pajamas at an almost inhuman speed.

"Alex?" he shouted trying to halt him but when Alex turned before stopping himself, he tripped over a log and flopped to the ground with a sickening crack. Miles shot over to him right as Al began to scream in pain. When Miles arrived, he noticed that Alex's leg was undoubtedly broken. He did his best to pick him up without aggravating the injury.

"Goddamit, Miles, why did you have to distract me?" Alex finally said between gritting his teeth and wincing.

"Why don't we start with what the hell you were doing running through the forest at eight in the morning?" Miles responded with a huff as he made his way back to the car.

"I, uh, I..." Alex paused and bit the inside of his cheeks before responding, "when I left the tent I saw a dog and I wanted to pet it but it ran from me so I tried to catch it."

Miles paused for a moment and looked down at Al before bursting into hysterics.

"Stop it, Mi, you're gonna drop me," Alex whined and buried his face in Miles' chest.

"Sorry, love. That's just the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Miles choked out, taking a deep breath to stop his laughter. They soon got to the car and Miles placed Alex in the passenger seat before taking down the tent and packing everything away. He hopped into the driver's seat and started making the trip out of the countryside and to the nearest hospital.

"Do you think I'll have to get one of those big full leg casts, Mi?" Alex pondered looking at his limp leg.

"Probably. We'll get it in electric pink and I'll help you decorate it in glitter and googly eyes," Miles said smiling proudly at his own humor.

"You shouldn't make fun of a man in need, ya know" Al huffed and looked out the window. Miles smiled and popped in a CD to calm Alex down and take his mind off the whole thing. Machu Picchu by The Strokes rang through the speakers and Al took note that it was a mixtape that Miles had made him when they first met. He mumbled the lyrics at first and then was singing at full volume and tapping his hand on the door panel. Miles listened intently and felt completely at ease as they spent the next thirty minutes rolling towards the hospital.

When they arrived, Miles left Alex in the car so he could go get a nurse to bring a wheelchair. He jogged back with an older woman in tow and he opened the door and lowered Al into the chair as gently as humanly possible. They made their way through the automatic doors and to the check-in area. Miles filled out all of Al's information and they were shortly led to a room to await a doctor.

"God, Miles, I don't want to get an xray. What if it hurts?" Al said in a sheer panic, fumbling with his rings and grinding his teeth.

"Oh, it will," Miles said putting his hands on Al's, "but you have to do it and I'll be right with you."

"Mr. Turner?" a young woman with short black hair had walked into the room, unnoticed until she spoke.

"Yeah, uh, that would be me," Alex stuttered out, looking at the tiled floor.

"Well, the injury seems pretty straight forward. We'll just go down the hall and you'll have your xray," she said looking at the papers on her clipboard. She let Miles wheel him down the hall behind her and they went into a dark room with a table where they would be placing Al's leg.

"Right, up here. If you could, just lay his leg on the table," she instructed, gesturing to Miles. When Miles did as he was told, Alex yelped, clearly in pain. He gasped and the last thing he remembered was black.

\------------------------------------------

Alex woke up on a hospital bed with Miles holding his hand and the doctor sitting next to him.

"You passed out from the pain," she said matter-of-factly, standing from her chair, "but good news is, you're done and you can go home. Bad news is, Pearl Jam sucks," she said and lightly grasped Alex's shirt between her thumb and pointer finger. Alex looked down. Pearl Jam shirt. Then, he noticed that wasn't the only bad news. He did have a full leg cast, the color of pink lemonade.

"God, I hate you Miles," he said staring at the cast like it had called him a name.

"Love you too, Al," Miles shot back, wheeling him to the car to make the ride home.


	5. Chapter 5

Miles knew that taking care of Al would be a hassle but he had no idea how much of a hassle Al could truly be. For days he had been lying back with his leg at an incline and his arms firmly crossed with nothing but demands and obscenities firing from his mouth. Miles was in the kitchen considering his next move when Al piped up.

"Miles, I've been sat here for a week. I want to do something," he whined with his head tilted back over the arm of the couch to view an upside down Miles.

"Well, with your bum leg and all we've only got so many options, " Miles responded, tapping his fingers on the counter.

"We could go anywhere, Mi! You just have to push me there!" Alex exclaimed with a huff, turning his body to a sitting position with his leg on the coffee table.

"Okay, okay. I guess we could go to the little pub downtown, watch the football match?" Miles suggested only to be shot down.

"No, I don't want to be somewhere with a lot of people. Or paparazzi, for that matter," Al said picking at his couch cushion next to him.

"Alright, well how about since there's really no one in the park this evening, we take a stroll?" Miles didn't know if Alex would go for it, but it's not like they could go dancing with him in a wheelchair.

"That sounds lovely," Alex answered and slid himself over to his chair. He had now gotten used to lowering his own body into it without any help, after days of trying and face planting. This situation was not one that he was proud of and he hated that because of him, the next leg of the tour had to be pushed back a few weeks due to his healing process. However, he did like the aspect of spending the time with Miles for those weeks because he knew they would go their separate ways this time, but when that thought arose he just bit his nails and turned on some cartoons to drown out his own thoughts.

"Alright, let's get going," Miles said, interrupting the silence and walking around Alex to push him out the door.

The walk to the park wasn't far, but it was an awkward walk where they covered up in hats and sunglasses and avoided anyone outside of their bubble, trying desperately to reach their destination. For once, it had worked and they made it there without a single interruption.

"It's so beautiful," Al said taking note of the changing leaves and chirping birds.

"Vous êtes si belle," Miles whispered to him, watching his face turn blood red. They spent the rest of the evening out there, doing nothing but watching the clouds go by and enjoying each other's presence.


	6. Chapter 6

Alex had gotten three of six weeks knocked out of this wheelchair bound prison sentence that had been driving him insane. He was bitter all the time and he could feel Miles's patience wearing thin, but he couldn't keep himself from giving Miles a front row seat to the pity parade when he was the only person Al ever wanted to be around. In just three more weeks a surgical saw would be at Alex's cast and he and Miles would be taking separate planes out of the country. He hated thinking about being without Miles. Even with the company of his best mates, touring was always such a strain on his happiness. Before he could drown himself in negative thoughts, Miles spoke up.

"Y'know, Al, there's no way in hell your leg will be sturdy enough to be dropping it low on stage in a few weeks," he said as he fidgeted in a chair a few feet from Alex.

"Pipe down, Kane," Al responded as he adjusted his body to a sitting position, "you can't do it either, wouldn't wanna be ripping more pants." Miles scowled at him and thought about his next move.

"Just remember if I pour water on you while you sleep, you'll never be able to catch me for revenge, even in my sleep I'll hear the chair rolling," it was a weak shot and Al knew he wouldn't do it, but Miles liked some banter every now and then.

"Don't threaten me, Mi, I'm in a weakened state," he said gripping his shirt over his heart and faking a shocked expression.

"You're weak anyway, Al," Miles said and stood up to exit the room.

"You are so mean! I can't help my petite figure, Miles!" Alex shouted to Miles who had made his way into the kitchen. He rolled his eyes at Al's retort and began searching through the cabinets. Nothing.

"Hey, Al, how about we go out to eat tonight?" Miles said, shuffling his way back to the living area.

"Yeah, okay. I want spaghetti," Alex said, already in his chair and wheeling over.

"Okay, scamp," Miles said as he ruffled Alex's hair and went for his car keys. He wore jeans but put on a dress shirt and tossed Al a nice sweater to cover up his t-shirt.

"Does this mean we're going somewhere nice?" Alex questioned, struggling to lean forward just enough to put on the sweater but not enough to flip out of his chair.

"You can't exactly get spaghetti at McDonald's," Miles quipped as he open the door for Al to wheel himself out. He had to lift him into the car every time they went anywhere, but he started to get over it after a little while. Not to mention it was a pretty good workout. He placed the chair in the back before climbing into the driver's seat and beginning the trek. They listened to the radio and Miles tapped the steering wheel until he heard a familiar beat. Alex hadn't noticed so Miles turned up the volume to catch his attention. Alex cocked his ear at his own voice filling the car as  _Do I Wanna Know_  fled the speakers.

"God, Mi, turn it off," Al demanded reaching for the radio. Miles smacked his hand and returned his attention to the road.

"No, I like this song. And the lead singer of this band is kinda cute," he chuckled and Alex groaned.

"I guess it does sound pretty good in the car," he finally stated, admiring his own handiwork.

"That reminds me," Miles said reaching down to pull out a CD and popped open the case before Alex could see what it was. He popped it into the player and skipped to track five and waited for Alex's reaction.

_Go, go, go, go, go, go_

_Go shorty, it's your birthday_

Alex covered his face with his hands trying to stifle his laughter. It didn't work very well and he gasped for air after a moment and looked at Miles.

"I'm sure the cashier was thrilled to be selling a 50 Cent CD to Miles Kane," he said with a deep chuckle.

"That's why I ordered it online," Miles confessed with a laugh. They spent the rest of the drive miserably trying to rap and having to skip several words. After about ten minutes, they were at the Italian restaurant and Miles unloaded Al and his chair before handing his keys to the valet.

"Reservation for Kane," Miles said to the maître d' with a crooked smile.

"Right this way, Mr. Kane," he said with an excited smile as Miles followed him, wheeling Al. They made their way to a table in the back with a little extra room so that Miles could park Alex comfortably. The maître d' made his way to the front and the duo sat studying their menus.

"He was pretty excited to meet your acquaintance," Alex said, setting down his menu and folding his hands on the table.

"It's not every day you get to seat a pair of famous gay rockstars," Miles said without looking up, "let's not get jealous, honey bunny." Before Alex could interject, their waiter had arrived.

"Do we know what we'll be having this evening?" he asked, drawing his writer pad from his pocket.

"We'll take a bottle of your finest wine and I'll have traditional lasagna," Miles said, finally placing his menu on the table.

"I'll have the spaghetti," Alex said awkwardly, smiling at the waiter.

"Now will that be the bolognese or the garlic spaghetti?" the waiter followed up, with a raised brow.

"Uh, bolognese I guess," Alex said as he fidgeted with his napkin. The waiter smiled and took their menus.

"Maybe we'd've been better off at McDonald's," Alex said taking in the awkward environment of the fancy restaurant and the guests that would occasionally stare at him until he noticed.

"Eh, it's fine," Miles said, glaring at a gawker. They sat in a peaceful silence and waited only a short time for their meals. It didn't take long for Al to consume his second glass of wine and begin pouring his third.

"Take it easy," Miles said placing his hand on Al's. Al sat down the bottle and took a bite of his food before saying anything.

"I don't want you to leave in three weeks," he confessed, twirling his fork in the pasta.

"I know," Miles sighed before looking Al in the eyes, "I don't want to leave either." Alex looked at him with a sweet smile and sad eyes before nodding. This new silence between them was awkward and Miles felt bad. He knew that Al loved being with him but it took him back when he realized that he was actually Alex's favorite person on god's green earth.

"Let's go home and watch a movie," Miles said to Al as they finished their meals.

"Okay," Alex said with some of the weight on his shoulders being relieved. Miles signaled the waiter over and they payed for their meal and began the trip home.


	7. Chapter 7

At some point Alex had fallen asleep during the movie and was blocking Miles from any sort of escape from the couch. It was only around 1AM so Miles decided to get online for a little while. He retrieved his phone carefully from the coffee table and opened Twitter.

"Can't wait to see you in three weeks! @MilesKaneMusic"

"I could stand the wait," Miles muttered to himself and kept scrolling. He was getting a lot of notifications of fans posting pictures of tickets, which just made him antsy and a little angry. He closed all social media and sat his phone back down before carefully readjusting his body and falling asleep.

**(11AM)**

Miles immediately felt a pain in his neck from the awkward sleeping position he had been in. He was alone for only a moment before Al wheeled in.

"Good morning, pumpkin," he said, bringing himself to a full stop. He was already dressed and had a big grin on his face.

"Uh, mornin'," Miles said, rubbing his eyes and standing up. He walked into the kitchen and saw that there was already a full breakfast on the counter.

"I made pancakes!" Alex said proud of his own work. Miles turned to look at him with a face of confusion.

"How did you do this from the chair?" He asked letting his eyes wander back to the food.

"I'm just good at everything. Now eat," Al responded rolling himself into Miles as a push. Miles knew deep down that Alex had woken up and needed a distraction from his bad thoughts about their temporary separation soon, but he decided not to mention it. They ate in solace for the next few moments before Miles noticed that his mind had wandered off and he was now alone. He stood up slowly and looked down the hallway to see Alex wheeling himself toward Miles.

"What do you say we drive to London today, Mi?" Alex questioned when he finally reached the end of the hall.

"Al, that's a three and a half hour drive," Miles said, furrowing his brow.

"Yeah, well, I still want to go. We can shop," Alex said looking to the floor and trying to pop a wheelie in his chair.

"Okay, looks like we're taking a road trip," Miles said jogging down the hallway to get changed. He grabbed his keys and opened the door for Al to wheel himself out.

**\---- 2 hours later ----**

"Who's better: The Beatles or The Strokes?" Miles asked as he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

"The Strokes!" Alex said quickly.

"Oh, I thought you were the world's biggest Beatles fan," Miles retorted without taking his eyes off the road.

"Yeah, I used to be, but eventually I realized you're just expected to like them, and I'm not sure if anyone actually does," he said after a moment of thought. Miles had taken this into consideration too. After discovering so much good music, it put his Beatles obsession into perspective.

"I could agree with that," he said with a nod. They spent the next hour playing "would you rather" and listening to the radio. When they finally arrived in London, they found some public parking and Miles put Al in his chair to begin their afternoon around the city.

Al was so easily occupied. He just wanted to people watch for most of the time. They had gone to a few shops and he had gotten the usual: black clothing. They went to a small cafe and had been sitting there for about an hour just watching the crowds and sipping coffee. Occasionally, someone would recognize them and stop for a photo, autograph, etc. At one point, a small group sat and chatted with them for a while. Alex was terrible with people but he was eventually able to loosen up and joke around.

It was around 8PM when Miles pointed out that they should start making the trek home. Another three hour drive sounded like torture, and as he had predicted, Alex was asleep well within an hour. He listened to some soft music and hummed to himself for the remainder of the trip. When they arrived home, Miles picked Alex up and carried him to bed. He then made a second trip to the car to get his wheelchair. When all was said and done, he was curled up in a ball sleeping by midnight.


	8. (filler)

**[one month later]**

The rain never bothered Miles but it hit his body now in thick sheets of pins and needles. He sat at a bus stop and just waited, feeling nothing and hearing nothing but radio frequency bouncing through his head as the bus rolled up. He gave the driver correct change and sat in the back, taking a long trip to nowhere.

Alex rushed around the city looking for Miles. He had literally been caught with his pants around his ankles and everything felt heavy around him like he was swimming with an anchor at his feet. There was a moment of hope and then a full on haze when his feet smacked the wet pavement and there was nothing and no one to lead him home. To lead him to Miles. He knew that he shouldn't drink without supervision and he knew that he missed Miles so much that it was eating him alive from the inside out but it all felt okay when his vision was blurred and she looked like him but in a moment of clarity the rain smashed him to the ground and he spent the night crying with his back against the side of a building.


	9. Chapter 9

Miles had ended up somewhere in New York on some rooftop of some hotel overlooking some flowing traffic as the night drove on a mix of neon lights and rushing wind. He didn't care where Alex ended up as long as he was on the other side of the city or the other side of the world. The serenity of the view and the cigarette between his shaking fingers was enough to clear his head entirely and let him not really think. The sound of speeding cars rushing around his head made him feel almost like he was lucid dreaming. Maybe it wouldn't last, maybe it would. Maybe he would fling himself off of this rooftop just to feel the rush between the leap and the passing out before the crash. None of that mattered at the moment he had himself and the wind at his back and that was enough.

\----------------------------------------------

Alex found himself soggy and half dead by the end of the night and decided to drag himself back to his hotel room. It was empty when he arrived and he stripped down and let his body flop to the floor where he spent the wee hours of the morning looking at the light bouncing through the curtains and onto the ceiling. Matt had found him at around 10AM still lying there, appearing to be dead at first. He had pulled him up and forced him into the bathroom for a shower and by noon he was dressed and drinking a cup of coffee while Matt listened to him retell his mistakes with a furrowed brow. They still had a concert to play that night and Alex didn't have a good enough excuse to cancel. Losing the love of your life almost doesn't count when you cut the cord yourself. Matt had used this philosophy as a reason to tell Alex to get himself together and not to miss sound check at 2 before hastily exiting the hotel room to go finish his own morning routine. Left to his own devices, Alex sat for as long as he could before dragging himself out the door and to sound check.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe it was the stinging of tears in his eyes or the dull thud in his head but this concert moved incredibly slow, floating by in bits and pieces for what felt like an eternity. Alex saw Miles in the back of his mind first happy, then sad. He felt everything and nothing and his whole body felt like pins and needles and as soon as he was done he knew he had to leave and to find Miles one way or another. He would scour the city for hours if not days and he would be successful, or he would die. At this point he already felt hollow enough to be dead, like a fallen tree rotting out with no way of getting back up. There was nothing he could do but keep moving and running the roads less travelled until his feet bled, doing everything he knew to do to reach his destination.


	10. Chapter 10

"You're gonna want to leave." Miles said sternly past the chain lock to a sullen Alex.  
"But, Mi-"   
"I said  _leave_. Leave this building, this block, this city. Go back to England I don't fucking care! Just leave."  
The slamming door shook Alex so hard that it felt like his skeleton moved out of place beneath his skin. He let himself stand for a moment before he felt his body moving without his consent, into an elevator, out the front doors, down the street. He found himself at a bar swiveling the stool he was on from side to side and holding a beer. This scene played out steadily as the sun went down: same stool, same bar, new beers. Matt called him around 2AM, and arrived with the guys around 3.  
"We have to get him to the hospital," Matt said as he and Nick heaved an unconscious Alex down the street. He had thrown up what seemed to be his body weight, and seemed even paler than usual. Jamie nodded in agreement and flagged down a taxi to take them on their way.   
\------------------------------------------  
"He's dehydrated, and has a mild case of alcohol poisoning," Matt said into the phone as he ran his hand through his hair.   
"Okay, good for him? Sounds fine to me. I have nothing against you or the boys, Matt, but do not call me about Alex again unless he dies," Miles' voice was even keeled and harsher than Matt had ever heard it. He hung up right after stating his stance, leaving Matt to his own devices.

**[one month later]**

The tour was over and the band had decided on an indefinite hiatus. Alex was physically better but emotionally a wreck. Matt visited him a couple of times a week to make sure he was eating instead of drinking. No one had heard from Miles but rumor had it that he was on vacation with some "friends" that none of the boys had ever heard of. The world kept turning and everyone was moving forward but Alex. He spent every day in some sort of purgatory between denial and acceptance, knowing Miles had left him, but waiting for him to call. He felt apathetic after a while, and didn't know how long he could live this way. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> partially a filler?

"Yeah, I know, Serg," Miles mumbled to his friend and took a sip of his drink, feeling the burn in his throat.   
"I don't think you do. I don't think you realize how selfish you've been lately," Sergio responded firmly. He had been watching Miles mope all week and was quite frankly tired of this rain cloud he called a friend.   
"He  _cheated_  on me, Sergio!" Miles exclaimed before throwing himself down on the couch. They were on a yacht owned by a shared "friend" and Serg began to grow tired of shuffling below deck to ask Miles if he was gonna join the party any time soon. He thought to himself for a moment before turning to face Miles and letting out a sharp sigh.   
"Listen here, Kane. I know, we all know. Everyone knows that Alex Turner cheated on you and broke your heart. Everyone knows that you're taking it rough. Everyone  _also_  knows that you're not taking it out on him. You're taking it out on yourself and all of your friends. They way you talked to Matt last week, mate? That was just plain cruel. You're letting this eat you up." Miles knew more than anything that Sergio had him cornered on this one. He had been an ass to his friends and to himself. He had been lazing about drinking and pretending to be happy on Instagram instead of actually healing and having a good time and being grateful for the people still in his life.   
"I'm sorry. I know that I've been harsh to Matt and pretty much useless to the rest of you. I need to make it right. I'm gonna go, Serg. Tonight when we dock the boat I'm leaving to catch a plane. I'll apologize to Matt and at some point, I should see Alex." Miles sounded sure of himself but looked scared. Sergio patted him on the back and pulled him by the arm up the stairs to enjoy the rest of the evening.


	12. Chapter 12

Miles thought about a lot of things on his flight. He could hear Alex's songbird voice ringing in his ears. He could see Alex looking at pictures of the northern lights and stating that he would die to go some day. He could even smell the familiar cologne and leather mixture in the air knowing it was just his imagination. The woman next to him had tried a couple of times to talk to him but he would just nod and feel his mind wander into another dimension. He missed everyone, admittedly, but he hated the idea of seeing Alex. He hated him so much right now that he scared himself. The love was still there, just buried deep down. Miles decided to put in some earbuds, as the in flight movie didn't sit well with him. He put on a song that reminded him of Al and hummed to the familiar tune.  _"Ten decisions shape your life, you'll be aware of five about"_ He fell into a peaceful sleep.

**[4 hours later]**

Miles woke up to the captain speaking about landing. He buckled his seatbelt and looked out the window. Sheffield. He couldn't believe how much he had missed England, and held a gasp at the sight of it.   
When they landed, he had four missed calls from Matt. He furrowed his brow and called him. The phone rang three times before the sound of Matt's voice ran through the line.   
"Hello?" His voice was shaky and small, unfamiliar to Miles.   
"Matt..?" Miles feigned a neutral tone while pulling on the sleeve of his shirt.   
"Listen Miles I know you told me not to call about Alex unless he was dead so I..." His voice cracked into the phone and Miles felt like someone was pumping air into his head. He dropped his phone and everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13

Miles was almost sanguine once he got to the hospital. To see Alex in a coma was to see the end of the earth but he saw a light at the end of this crooked tunnel. He had been there for three days sitting in the same chair, only leaving once to shower at Matt's hotel. Matt was there most of the time, staying for hours at a time and then disappearing into the city. Nick and Jamie would go with him, trying to keep the dream alive as a trio, and knowing Matt needed them now more than ever. He had found Alex, hollowed of his heart and soul and stuffed back up with pills and booze. The paramedics said he was dead for nearly a full minute. This earth shattering fact had not yet eclipsed Miles' sun in his first stage: denial. A lot of people had pulled out of things like this and lived healthy lives; or at least that's what he told himself.   
On the fourth day the boys had gone to the hotel to rest and a doctor finally approached Miles after about 80 hours of waiting in silence.   
"Mr. Kane," he said, standing stock still with his back straight.  
"Yeah," Miles responded not letting his eyes leave Al.   
"May I speak to you... in the hall?" The doctor wrung his hands at the lack of response coming from the man, then sharply exited the room. Miles followed him only moments later with his arms folded over his stomach and his hands nervously rubbing his elbows.   
"Mr. Kane, I know it's been a difficult time, and I know how you're feeling, but there's almost no chance that Mr. Turner is pulling out of this one," the doctor said as kindly as he could muster. Miles wanted to hit him, he wanted to hit himself, oh god did he want to hit Al. He opened his mouth but for the first time in his short life he found no words at the tip of his tongue. He crumpled to the floor with his head in his hands and cried. There were only a few moments between him wiping his eyes and the boys coming back. Everyone had an understanding within a minute and the world began to shatter. Miles stood up and went to sit in the chair adjacent to Alex. He continued to weep until he was worn from the tears digging ruts in his cheeks like a river through the Grand Canyon. He fell asleep watching the sun set.


	14. Chapter 14

"Cold in Canada right now, Kane?" Matt asked already knowing the answer, and not really caring.

"Yeah. But I couldn't really care less," Miles responded into the phone, putting out a cigarette on the ground. "Thanks for checking up on me," he continued, "but I've got to get this done." Miles hung up and looked toward the sky. He felt into the oversized pocket of his coat and pulled out a small urn. His last piece of Alex, though he didn't really see it like that. He saw a small jar of dust that he was supposed to scatter solemnly off a cliff. And the idea of throwing ashes into the night wasn't as funny as John Goodman and Jeff Bridges had led him to believe.   
"Uh. Here we are," Miles said to the container, "or I guess here I am. And here you were." He opened it and closed his eyes before flinging the contents into the northern wind. He didn't want to look at the result of likely ash at his feet but when he opened his eyes it wasn't what he expected. There was nothing. The strong wind must have taken everything away as quickly as he had given it. He felt like a black hole had been vacuum sealed within him and he could finally breathe again. He let slow tears roll down his face as he lit another cigarette. When his eyes landed back in the sky the northern lights danced around him in green, telling him to go on.


End file.
